So…contrary to whatever meaning you may derive in your brain about my posts, I’ve always had an immense respect for women, especially their physical comfort zones. Having been raised by a single mum (one of the reasons I used to be a typical “Nice Guy”), I learned the value of women from a very early age.
It’s super important to understand that putting your needs first, having boundaries, being clear with your intent and not getting friend-zoned has nothing to do with being a jerk. You should never, ever treat a woman with disrespect, especially in some attempt to gain artificial validation for your childhood issues.
As David Deida talks about in his phenomenal book “The Way of the Superior Man“, it is one of your jobs as a man to be the grounded energy, rooted to your deepest purpose and a safe space for your woman to express the full feminine spectrum of her emotions.
So, what does this mean for you in your everyday life?
Quite simply, the best way to make a woman feel comfortable around you is to be completely comfortable in yourself, and this is something you should be aiming for anyway, from a personal development perspective.
Remember, the relationships you have are a direct by-product of your internal state and personal development or lack thereof.
Regardless of whether you on a date or even just hanging out with a female friend (yes, they’re possible, once you stop being a little bitch), becoming comfortable in your own skin is key number one.
As the nature of feminine energy is to constantly change and react to its environment, the nature of masculine energy is unchanging consciousness. When you hear the expression “I just want to find a man to be my rock”, that’s what they’re talking about.
This is not just true for personal life, but in business as well. Think about it. Who do you do business with the most? The company who is the most consistent, genuinely cares, calmly helps you with whatever you need in that moment, even if you’re just having a bad day. Sound like a relationship with a woman?
See, the nature of this energy exists everywhere, it doesn’t simply pertain to the Nice Guys Syndrome. Can you see how all of this is actually a by-product of lack of personal development and self-awareness?
These things are not all separate aspects of your life you need to work on – they are all part of the same puzzle. Your friends and family need a calm, grounded energy, just as much as your woman needs unwavering support in her time of need.
When you take the appropriate steps to becoming a fully integrated man, you will naturally start to see progress in your life.
See…most people…most people want to JUMP to the outcome and feel the pleasurable result as soon as possible. This is actually a scarcity-based mindset. It is like a business trying to “trick” customers into getting sales on the day, but losing their custom and lifetime value.
Play for the long term and work on yourself.
Understand that YOU are actually powerful beyond belief when it comes to your effect on your immediately environment, and that your environment is often a direct reflection of your internal state.
You may have doubts and fears, or you may think positively, but whatever you decide, that will be the social mirror you see reflected. So, forget about how the girl is feeling and what might be “wrong” or what you might need to do to “fix” the problem…
…there is nothing to fix 😉
You have to be your own rock first, before you can become someone else’s.