First of all, before you get your panties up in a twist, let me explain…
I’m not saying you can’t be friends with a girl or that you don’t have friends that are girls. I’m sure you do and you guys are total BFFs and braid each other’s hair…lol. Stop being a little bitch!
The reason I say girls are not your friends is so you can understand a very important, biological purpose that men and women have…hmm…what could it be…?
FUCKING (yes, I’m primarily referring to heterosexuals)
Reproduction, for those of you with sensitive ears. Actually, if you have sensitive ears, you probably shouldn’t read this blog.
I say this a lot and I’ll keep on saying it
We are more animal than we would like to believe, and the fact that we are so often ignorant of our primitive heritage and biological drivers explains a lot…
See…society has a habit of “making up” how we should behave towards each other and what is “normal” and “acceptable” is not necessarily natural. I have often pondered this quandary in relation to polyamory Vs “traditional” monogamous relationships.
Sure…society tells us we should find the “right” woman (damn, I’m using a lot of quotation marks, haha), we should “settle down”, have kids, a mortgage, etc. etc. etc…*yawn*, but what do we feel inside?
…don’t worry, I’m getting back to the topic shortly…
We often suppress what we feel or innately desire because we perceive it as “wrong” and we even judge ourselves for having that thought or desire. In reality, we can’t help how we feel about things, who we find attractive or want to fuck, and who we fall in love with.
What does all of this have to with girls not being friends? Lots actually…especially for “NICE GUYS”.
We are all inherently infused with a number of belief systems that are not our own. These were handed down to us from an early age and we adopted them. Sometimes, we created the belief system to cope with an emotionally distressing experience as a child.
…enter, the nice guy paradigm…
So, ask yourself this…
WHY are you friends with a girl? What purpose does it serve? What are you trying to achieve?
You may think it’s innocent. “Why can’t guys and girls be friends?”, I hear you shout in disgust. The short answer…they can, but is it good for your psychology as a “nice guy”? No, not really.
Because by engaging in a friendship-type situation with a girl, you are denying your biological drivers to have sex…often. You might be having sex with someone else or multiple other people, but your time is valuable…didn’t anyone ever tell you that? Don’t you tell yourself that?
Do you understand how valuable your time is and that you’re going to die?
If you are WASTING your time somehow, on an activity that is not maximising your purpose as a man or helping you grow, it is a waste.
So, although it maybe “pleasant” or “nice” to spend time with females are interesting to talk to or funny, and you find it enjoyable, remember…the whole time you’re doing this, you aren’t fucking, you aren’t working on your deepest purpose, you aren’t strengthening your body and mind, and you aren’t sleeping.
You’re having a “nice” experience, and let me tell you from experience, although mentally you will tell yourself “It’s fine…I’m not interested anyway, your primal male brain…the one that wants to fuck, eat, sleep and hunt will slowly but surely become more feminine from the experience, partly from not undertaking masculine activities, and partly from giving your subconscious evidence that you are not SEX-WORTHY.
This, in fact, is the opposite of “The Winner Effect”, which is the cascading effect even small wins have on your confidence, and in turn, your testosterone, libido, etc.
Even if you’re not that attracted to the girl (or not at all) and you’re not interested in her in that way, from a primal perspective, the fact you are not fucking her is a fail.
Now, if I’m coming off a bit rapey with my language…good. Get used to it. You’re obviously too comfortable with being soft so far.
I’m not implying you try to fuck every girl you hang out with…that would be stupid. Instead, work out exactly the type of girls you want to engage with, whether it’s sex, casual relationship or whatever and FILTER THE REST OUT!
This is a principle that is vitally important to success in all endeavours. If you’re trying to be healthy, but you have a couple of friends who still eat junk…stop hanging out with them!
ANYTHING you do that is not in line with your goals in life is supplicating to the feminine energy of the world, instead of establishing your masculine energy.
If you are truly a man on his deepest purpose, you do not have time for any activities that do not contribute to your goals. This includes “hanging out” with women or having hours-long conversations with them about their day…or worse…who they’re fucking.
Women DO NOT put you in the friendzone – YOU put YOURSELF in the friendzone with supplicating and subservient behaviour. You do it by thinking less of your time than you do of theirs.
By all means, have friends who are girls…I do, but be VERY conscious about how you relate to them and how they relate to you. Remember your goals and purpose MUST come first. Start making it about a girl and you’re fucking done for!
P.S. On a final note, can you imagine primal men, coming back from the hunt with the other men, after exerting themselves physically and mentally to the max of their ability, sitting down and helping a women in the tribe (who is not even theirs) to make some clothes or talk about the day?
You may think me misogynistic, but I’m talking about primal instinct here…something to think about.
Till next time,
Luke de Vere